**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
