There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
