Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
