grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
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