??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
