im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize