Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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