so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
