Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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