come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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