So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
