yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
