Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Randomize
