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• (310): View more from California

  that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something

  (818): View more from California

  its my fault though, i'm wearing tights

  (310): View more from California

  you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.

  (1-810): View more from Michigan

  Thanks dad.

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.

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• 

  19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...

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• (425): View more from Washington

  I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.

  (1-425): View more from Washington

  No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert

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  The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.

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• (805): View more from California

  I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test

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