"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.