She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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