Please, let me fuck your mom
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
