he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
i think my cat just said my name.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Randomize
