Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
