i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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