Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
