Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize