dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
