Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i was born a porn star she said
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
