Capitaan dildo arrescate!
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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