you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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