I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize