ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
