Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
the liver wants what the liver wants
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
