All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
