her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
You can't special order awesome
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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