guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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