We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
