Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
