Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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