My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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