you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
