That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
