I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
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She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
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Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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