Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
