So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
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