ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
