Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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