Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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