This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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