He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
