you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
