Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
