hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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