Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize