I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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