then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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