Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
