hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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