I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
