I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize