no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize