her vagine was all disorganized.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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